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Wonderlust ♥

Meet Gabriel, our pet hybrid flowerhorn. Gabriel (otherwise affectionately known as gong gong) has been with us since 22 Jan 2020. 

(Gabriel @ 31.12.2020 horrified by the flash from my polaroid camera)


He was somewhat ill when we got him as a baby, but grew into a handsome adult. Recently, he fell seriously ill around 6 Jan 2021, and we were almost sure we would lose him to swim bladder disease. 

(Gabriel @ Jan 2020 when we first got him)



(Spot him hiding behind the plants in this picture)


Granted, swim bladder disease was our self diagnosis but seeing that he had a bloated belly and was perpetually floating upside down, it was the most likely disease.  

(Gabriel @ 8 Jan 2021 with swim bladder disease)


We moved him to a hospital tank and reached out to some vets to enquire if they treat fish. Here are some vets which we found treat fish:

1. Vets for Pets - Jurong (Dr June Ang)
2. Beecroft Bird & Exotics Veterinary Clinic

Beecroft does house calls too! However, as we started providing swim bladder medication to Gabriel (around 3 days after he fell ill), we monitored the situation. We didn't want to bring him down to a vet since we were unsure how he would take the trip. 

We used swim bladder treatment+ by interpet. We medicated him according to instructions: giving a new dosage on the 4th, 8th and 12th day, doing a water change whenever necessary.


Gabriel also stopped eating when he fell sick. We started to hand feed him ground green peas + water using a syringe around the 4th or 5th day. After about a week of peas, we handfed him ground pellets + water using same said syringe. 

This was adapted from youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAtUVFOlkfU 

No photos were taken of this process as we felt like we were force feeding him and I was really disheartened at this point. (you can refer to the video above though- we did the exact same process)

Gabriel started sinking on 12 Jan and we shifted him to the normal tank. 
He had fungal infection and started lying at the bottom of the tank on 13 Jan. 

The turning point came on 24 Jan where he started swimming occasionally and using the filter to prop himself up. This happened till 26 Jan. 

(Gabriel @ 24-26 Jan 2021 using the filter to prop himself up)


On 27 Jan, although he was still sinking to the bottom, he no longer laid on the ground. Things continued to improve. Currently, he seems to have made a full recovery and is slowly regaining his colours. He also accepts cuddles these days and we can't express how happy we are! 

(Gabriel after recovery but with fungal infection still- at his belly)


(Gabriel accepting cuddles during a water change)

(Gabriel's current diet)


May there not be such a severe reoccurrence ever and hopefully this post can help a fellow fish parent. 

xoxo

Update: Gabriel passed on 19 Apr 2021 at 12:40am after another reoccurrence. He'll always be dearly missed.
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the simulation just went bad
but you're the best i ever had
like handprints in wet cement
she touched me
it's permanent
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I've been wanting to go back to the mullet forever and i finally did!

Although it felt like forever, looking back at my photo album for verification, I only started actually growing my hair out in 2018. I have lived and survived for this one something year with hair clips and hair ties... No more. 

Somehow, having a mullet brings me great joy. I feel more effortlessly like me- if that makes sense. And to think i waited so long to get my hair back to normal. Also, as much as I want to be committed to keeping my hair this way constantly, my hairstylist isn't cheap, so I'll probably butcher it up once or twice along the way.  

Welp. Let's just enjoy the freshness of the cut while it lasts. 😄

Did I mention just how much I feel like doing an underlayer bleach or color? Maybe i'll experiment with semi permanent colours... Maybe.

Here's ending the post with a picture of Mokona and I at USS (for purpose of this photo only). Upon viewing the picture on my phone, I had the impression we had terribly unsynchronised hands, but after posting this, I see now that we synchronise to match the tilt of the USS prop. Cheap thrills indeed.💓


Merry Christmas Errbody! 

xoxo

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I knew i loved you the moment we met 
i knew i wanted you 
the moment your arm touched mine 
across a theatre side
thought you could like me too 
the moment you stayed 
took me places every time 
smiled like it was just mine 
laughed like i fit with you just right 
shared stories like i could understand every line
felt like you could love me just right
like you could be just mine
like i only had you in my sights
but you let go when i was falling
let go when i was hoping
let go when i was trying
never called you out for having options 
leaving them out in the open
still wondered if we could happen
felt like i loved and lost
like i closed my eyes and you were gone
tried to pretend like every ache didn't belong
but with every passing moment
i knew that you were never worth it
every strong emotion you inspired 
was clearly never reciprocated 
i picked up the pieces 
to put them back stronger
never accepted your call
when you finally knocked on my door
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This night
you hold my heart in your hands
heartbeat in my palms crystal

and every breath is magic, full of life
can this feeling be forever
there's nothing quite so real and alive

this night
you hold my heart in your eyes
heartbeat in my chest crystal

and every gift is precious, fits just right
can this feeling be forever
nothing's quite so easy to lose and regret

that's right
love is a net
catching tender feelings 
losing the bad
etching them so I never forget
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Everything is blue
his pills , his hands , his jeans
and now i'm covered in the colors pull apart at the seams
and it's blue
and it's blue

Everything is grey
his hair , his smoke , his dreams
and now he's so devoid of color
he don't know what it means
and he's blue
and he's blue
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salt air and the rust on your door
i never needed anything more
whispers of are you sure
never have i ever before
but i can see us 
lost in the memory 
august slipped away into a moment in time
cuz it was never mine
and i can see us 
twisted in bedsheets
august sipped away like a bottle of wine
cuz you were never mine
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the pieces of a puzzle fall in place softly and strangely 
like something you don't understand 
yet know more than anything 
like something you want to pick apart 
to satisfy a lingering curiosity 
but you revel so much in the novelty
you can feel it in your bones 
nothing is going to come from scrutiny
maybe some things are meant to remain unsolved mysteries
unstoppable 
immovable
unavoidable
and oh so whimsical


HELLLOOOOOO .

sorry i've been gone for so long . gotta say that i missed this space so much and i'll continue updating with all the heart i have . to someone like me , each post is art and content so ... i'll do my best with each one .

when i look back , they all remind me of another place and another time .

it's pretty surprising that the last time i blogged about FETH was August 2019 , which makes now close to a year since then . it's probably more alarming that i have not completed said FETH . part of the delay is caused by trying to maximise the replay value for each battle sequence . another is the setback of having no save feature in battles which makes gameplay less handy .

annnddd of course , the largest cause is procrastination - something you will almost always find me guilty of . in my defence , i am at least , at chapter 10 .

while FETH is making slow progress , i completed Pokemon Shield . i got to say , i loveee Piers and Raihan . mmm , my pokemon too yes . Piers and Raihan were just a really pleasant surprise cuz pokemon trainers haven't caught my eye since Lance and Koga . talk about low expectations .

i also started on animal crossing , which heavily features me trying to catch sharks right now seeing it's shark season in the northern hemisphere . my animal crossing character design is grimmjow inspired and the concept is sticking awesomely well . now , if only i could find the same inspiration to revamp my island .

moving away from the virtual context , my work life has been calming down .  since wfh , work was really a tough cookie .  i felt like i was drowning and struggling 80% of the time with no personal time to myself . now that things are calming down , i mulled it over with a fresh perspective and concluded that busy = busy , regardless of wfh or no . it just so happens the work pile came on during wfh season .

to the age old question people are asking- wfh yay or nay

i like to keep to myself and don't thrive on mingling so wfh is awesome for me . BUT , i miss interacting with the couple of friends in office who are really awesome people . they make it really sweet to go to work with morning coffee runs and random perk me ups .  i know that's sentiment , which really counts more than monetary and personal considerations such as travelling woes and personal comfort .

then again , there are times i don't feel sentimental .

which concludes - personally i would really love a mix of wfh/office . nonetheless , i hope everyone is holding up fine be it wfh or office .

remember to keep safe wherever , whenever 💖

toodles 
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as long as i'm here
no one can hurt you
don't wanna lie here
but you can learn to
if i could change the way that you see yourself
you wouldn't wonder why you hear
they don't deserve you

To continue from where I left off since the last , I:

  • got married
  • moved into our new place
  • got our own pets
  • completed Pokemon Shield 
  • worked on many pieces but completed none
  • fluctuate in and out of cynicism 

really thankful to be where I am right now .
ending this post with photos , will visit and update soon :)














xoxo

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I was running to escape a prison I built 
Found you enough for a second look
Thought I could heal
All while I was dreaming of anyone but you
You had dreams you never believed
I had dreams
they were too beautiful for you to see 
I kept them under lock and key
Together with the rest of me
You knelt
Stepped on many thorns
Should have made me happy
It made me mad
Drove me crazy
Hated the sound of your name on my lips
Never could see
I was a queen
I didn’t need a pawn
I wanted a king
We didn’t match
My patience grew thin 
I changed the lock 
Tossed the keys
And found the best thing to happen to me
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Think about the place where you first met me ,
Ridin’ in a getaway car ,
There were sirens in the beat of your heart

So . Fire Emblem Three Houses . Or FETH .

**MILD SPOILERS AHEAD SO PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK**

Like I expected , there’s no customization for Byleth (MU) but the design for Byleth (F) is nice and i can’t find reason to complain at all really .

Before starting my journey , I did terribly extensive research to find out which house I wanted (cuz marriage candidates of course) . And I chose Golden Deer because , have you seen Claude post time skip ??

Here he is post time skip:




Claude pre time skip:






Now, i’m 100% for post time skip Claude of course 🔥🔥 

Claude wasn’t my first choice because i eliminate the main characters by default . Can you blame me ? My default mains were Chrom and Xander . I went for Vaike and Keaton and never looked back ~ 

I pondered over Felix , then Sylvain , but gave up on them because their characteristics were floppy at best . Relooking at my choices found me my favourite troublemaker 💛

Whilst playing (about 10 hours now) , I quickly came to a realisation that FETH is crazy different in terms of playthrough . The other FE games could be played to perfection . Meaning , standard recruitment  100% , best/good pairings could be achieved , all characters could be maxed out . Things to do were also pretty standard and side quests were manageable . 

For FETH , its impossible to play it to perfection . I spend so much time finding dialogues that will give me support boosts and so much time to recruit someone . The side quests are like a whole separate gameplay of their own . Trust me when I say It’s best to play with a free and easy approach . Currently , I’m trying to recruit Bernadetta , Ashe and Felix .

**END SPOILERS**

I promise to blog more on FETH when I’ve played for a longer time but don’t wait up (could take forever , xoxo)
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This is the 324934809th time I'm typing this entry because the old ones didn't work after I went back to them. Tbh I feel the need to blog but I have no clue how to…

So i'm just going to be throwing words at you. K.

I used to be and still am pretty big on privacy because to me, it equates to a greater freedom.

Letting go at some points; certain points, is pretty disconcerting but I need to seriously suck it up, man up, and roll ahead. I am only as powerful as I make myself to be after all.

Guess I finally reached the conclusion that it's no excuse not to work on self expression and self confidence under the guise of privacy and not acknowledging that I am somewhat lacking in these areas.

Leaving the stigma behind one piece at a time till imma force to be reckoned with. 💪

All the major upcoming changes to my personal life and work is eating at me. Lemme just pen them down here to tell myself I'll be okay. At work, trends dictate that we have to be reactive. Being a perfectionist, a lot of time is spent planning things to the minute details and having those plans derailed. That's painful. But it's commonplace.

Just gotta take a huge breath and make it work another way. The best results are not necessarily produced with the best efforts. But the best efforts paves the way to producing the best results.

And what do you know, I'm coping better now.

Work matters aside, the thing about my love life- I've always dated for the thrill and the romance and never thought much about long term plans.

And so the elimination process goes: Piercings? Hot. Multiple? Why not. Tattoos? That's lit. Not much money? ... Does it matter? Guess what I'm trying to say is as long as I see something I like, I'd get it. Sorta like shopping for clothes without too much of a budget y'get what i meannnn.

It was all about the romance. C'mon who doesn't like romance? I guess you can safely say I'm terribly nonconforming. I have never actually believed in the notion of love and never said these words to my previous partners.

Because I'm so private, no one really judged or knew much. I never delved into the intricacies or inner workings of any relationship.

Truth is, deep (or not so deep) down, I'm afraid of commitment and anything long term in a relationship. I pretty much developed an aversion to dudes if at the start, they talk about their dream marriage, the number of children they want, or about how romantic growing old together is. 

Imagining myself holding a wedding is scary because I don't fancy having so much fanfare, i'm totally chill with or without children, if with, just one please. and i never want to grow old! (unlike some people i know...)

So it was naturally always flight and not fight for me.

Welp, something changed. Guess I managed to open up to my husband to be (still don't know how he managed😂) and decided to take the leap of faith so sue me and all my preconceived notions about love. I found something more when I wasn't looking and I'm not going to give it up for any personal insecurities i may harbor, but i admit it's going to be a tough journey because the whole long term concept goes against my baser instincts so I'm re-calibrating. To force down the flight and start to fight. 

Looks like I'm a slow bloomer, but I'm glad to be able to feel now rather than never.

I'm another, to put myself out there, vulnerable but with faith against whatever. That's how the greatest things function, dependent and depending. Not everyone understands and not everyone believes. But love can be extraordinary if we so choose it.

Just remind me to keep blogging?

kthnxbye💓



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had to lose my way
to know which road to take

I'm overdue with this one . when you see me on hiatus , half of the time it's writer's block to blame , the other half's all me . life has been going really awesome lately so i stopped to smell the flowers , slowed down to enjoy the small moments and strengthened my resolve to work harder at the things that are important to me . also , i'm here excitedly waiting for fire emblem to hit in July and praying for customization (although it doesn't seem promising) from the videos that are available , it looks like three houses is going to be freaking awesome .

sorry for the short post, blog again soon ♥

his hair , tinged with burgundy , made me reminisce my love for scene
he was all expressive eyebrows , i remember all too well
he was a lopsided smile , quirked at the edges
he was the second time i fell in love with a voice
and i fell
too hard
too fast
was too much to handle much too soon
he gave up
i held on
thinking
we were surely meant for something great
it was a resounding silence
i walked away
but i lingered
then i waited
i gave it all the time i could
before i gave my heart to someone new
and the reasons i loved him were nothing like the tales of old
nothing like how i imagined i could pen in the dead of the night
it was nothing flowery doused with glitter littered with ribbons
it was the tender moments
it was the moments we were grateful
it was the moments we wanted to do better
it was the moments
he chose me
when my words were daggers
thrown and meant to maim
it was in the moments
he chose us
when my words were poison
laced and meant to kill
and i thought
we will only keep getting better
if we never falter
and this safe place
is what it means to always have a place to call home

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+65. Writes, draws and paints occasionally. Find me in game @miiooki@reihaku or mayhaps another alias

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