mull over in the quiet
counting minutes keeping time
coming up empty
when the heart rejects what the mind accepts

Gonna ruin the moment but the above was sitting in draft since awhile ago so imma just go ahead and post it . makes do for a september entry anyhoo .

probably since i'm often filled with hate i cling on to any semblance of happiness with a sort of desperation , knowing all too well it's ultimately not what i'm looking for . yet knowing and feeling are two different things in which mind over matter doesn't apply , and only time will solve . funny how no matter how many times i conclude it's being remarkably silly the ache still remains . i  guess it's the process of pulling apart and separating the sentiment attached to a person , seeing that they are very much just two different things in the end .

eventually my heart will accept that it's just pinning for a concept , a figment of imagination that doesn't exist .

perhaps taking a chance isn't the brightest idea (although it is the fastest and easiest fix it solution)  , but who's to say . it once in eons anyway . even if it ends up in flames , at least i would've gotten rid of the hate .

i know i shouldn't be having such thoughts , but i guess a logical conclusion is i need more faith, love or time , or maybe all .