Wonderlust ♥

=_= Fcuk . Exams are causing me a lot of angst .

Ok , studies too . My study materials always manage to disappear when i need or want them ; in which finding them makes me terribly angry . The longer i find , the more angry i get . I search through an entire stupid stack of papers and give up , afterwards finding out that the notes have been eluding me in an easy to find place , which i searched a gazillion times . So after finding it , an hour will have passed maybe ?
I hate it . Hate the load of this .

At least i bought 2 things today despite this horrible cycle ive been going through .
Nowdays things always catch my eye when im walking by . Things that i really like .
I appreciate it , but i need money too .
Attachment attachment :)


Non dreamers dont understand dreamers .
Dreamers are unrealistic , impractical , whereas non-dreamers are realistic and pracitcal .
Non-dreamers can be downers because they just cant phantom the ways dreamers think ; dreamers like to dream but they arent stupid or dense ; so opinions are pretty much unwanted .

Back by popular demand ...



Ive decided to post pictures of Gene ! :)
Ive found an old weapon , my old handphone :d



Red Triangle Gene with puppet lion by Merl and Mac Donalds Sepia Gene with Alfred





Disclaimer: this blog isnt a Gene fansite .

I should set up a Gene fansite shouldnt i ? I'd be pretty darn good at managing the contents . I'll especially take charge of the weekly photo upload section , where throughout the week shots of Gene are taken and then uploaded onto the site .
Of course there'd be a forum too , for people to post comments on Gene .
I'll read through the comments , approve those that are good ; and people will level up based on the number of comments that they can get approved . Also , there will be a recruitment section , where the person who takes the most photos of Gene to share will be recruited to join the motion ! :B
Haha !



There are a number of reasons that i havent been uploading Gene pics , and I'll go through them one by one .
We meet up lesser nowadays . Godbrother doesnt allow me to take pics ! Added with the factor that my new phone camera is slower :( and once you shake or move , the photo is gone unlike my old one . His speed has improved over the months , so imma gonna hafta change a new phone soon . Lol . So basically the reason is that i dont have that much opportunities and the thrill of it has subsided a little . Not to worry , until i get gene fansite up and running . Wait- can i do it for a living ?


Although misunderstandings arising from people looking at my stash of Gene pics and Gene himself sometimes happens- like 90% of the time . I wonder why they dont see us the way i do . But people are weird anyway eh . There's a certain kind of logic that eludes them completely D:



Now , I feature , Jamie's work !
Her newest fetish , cropping pictures . Its good right :)





So who says close eye Gene isnt a good take hmm .



Now Gene is on deviantart too !
http://burningxdrake.deviantart.com/art/enlightened-gene-114087183
Gene is taking over all forms of media :/
Leave a comment if you happen to drop by there .




Chionging Spaceman by the killers for the whole day today . *smiles*
WOOTS ! THERE'S NO TESTS TMR , THE BLISS ~
I want to get tt pair of earrings . So maybe i should pierce .



Mars: Eh? U have attachment aldy.. When? D:
next week :(
WENDEE: u michelle from blgps? i really cant recognise u !!!
nope , im not !
Fathin: All the best!
thanks , i need it >_<

perhaps if i turn like this...

Today's photos arent tt great , but here they are anyway .

Damn , my platforms hurt .
After wearing it for the 2nd day in a row , i decided i really needa break from it .
Had to bus home today !
Other footwears are a little worn out , but wth nya .
ILL TRY FOR NICER UPDATES WHEN EXAMS ARENT HERE (:


Fathin: U and Jamie go shopping at where?? Clothes very nice!!
erm.. she bought hers online , mine i cant rmb . hehe . nxt time shop tgt ?
Ary: heyyy i got the same pic as you! the one that says 'you qing'
haha , nice right ? the meaning , and the Ren looks cute too ! did i get it from you ?

☆☆

My com takes a freaking 10 minutes and more to load; the time taken till i can surf the net and chat on MSN . Super lag i tell you , i wan a desktop RAWR ! A printer and scanner while im at that too .

Today i accidentally set up a poor shopkeeper lol !
Because i forgot to bring my atm card , i told him to wait , i'll come back , but i never returned . Haha . Gnna go back thr to get tt platforms tmr :)
Something i spotted when walking home .

I should study.. Cheers .

Boo . Updated playlist (:

& since quite a few ppl are asking , nope , lemon milk tea doesnt taste good :x
Just soso cos the lemon taste doesnt go well with milk tea . Lemon green tea is much better . Take my word for that !

Okaeee time to hit the books alrdy , or wtf papers .

I should try the dream interpretation thing that Godbrother Gene uses , because i woke up today and realised that i keep dreaming of the same thing for a few times now .
Its Lemon milk tea =_= .
Strange that my dream also revolves around bubble tea .
In my dream it always happens that i want to buy a drink , and i always cant decide what i want to drink . After thinking quite long , i will realize i want Lemon milk tea , but everytime i order , the person will tell me that there's no more left .
Just fyi , i have never drunk Lemon milk tea before so i dont know why i keep getting the urge to and failing to .
Im going to try it later and perhaps stop dreaming of it ! D:

Im really really sleepy . I can't bring myself to study .
Might as well just spend my days working , getting money to get me by . Schooling is such a chore .
I may be young , i may be blind ; or perhaps not .
Fcuk , i hate it when my eraser gets misplaced .


Now where was I ? Happy Valentines Day (never mind that this is belated)
Actually , I dont see much of a point in this occassion , but i cant deny some of the proceedings are nice .
However it should be a little more improvised no ?
What kind of weird mood have i landed myself into this time . i think im happy but the tiredness is driving me abit crazy .
Sleep ? I would if I could .

Hoho .

Lets talk about my first 'love' then (take it as a dedication). The one more special and deep than all the rest that can be counted as something more than a crush , was in primary school ; i take it was 4 . At that time he seemed perfect to me , but even so i could see , that there was alot of potential in him to go bad . Probably he is also the only one younger and smaller than me , but well , nontheless im his younger godsister , him my older godbrother so i suppose , we can compromise eh . Well , about his potential , lets just say he didnt really have it for studies , although he can manage to scrape through . He's more into sports like running , soccer , sepak takraw . Does them quite good with the lithe , small and wiry frame . And i know academic wise , he's dropping ; thanks to a yearbook .. So i hope he'll be fine . Well even if he's a dropout that's alright . I just hope he'll try to keep his hands off things , enjoy himself , stay safe and take care . Our first conversation was one fine day after a science center outing , me bringing back one of my prized plushies and the relationship started with teh plush . haha ! MC has one too , a black dog , promoting some search engine . Layco asia something i think . That was one of the best moments i guess . After 4 years i think i got over him , and i havent seen him in 5 years. Sad isnt it . NMQD

The formatting has gone and screwed up on me again . And the above is quite deviod of emotion . Gosh , im weird right now . GOODNIGHTS !

Ary: *read**read* on a reading rampage......tired. reading rampage >_< size="4">MC: Yikes, use coke to make the ulcer heal better? Sounds scary! you never tried before ? just drink the coke .
Fathin: Haha. Then wont e dog and cat fight? can keep them from small together so they wont fight when they grow up ^^
rini - gene: u should have a tagboard!Gene: hmm. I used to... but got spam. so I use this comment system I can moderate at least.
rini - Jamie&Michelle: EH u going on saturday? The sentosa outing?! I lost my hp so don't contact me through tt whoops . Not going . I hope William had fun.
Fathin: Jamie has good taste in clothes. It looks good on Mich. Hehe.. XD
Jayme: Seriously.. my nose should be smaller..'
Jayme: Send me the 2 pics!!! Shirt spoil le then u dare top wear...=_=Hmm? okie. remind me when you see me online ! haha . is not spoil is circumstances lol .

Progress on COST = none .
BLEH !
Its the last thing on my mind...

Ive developed an ulcer on the side of my mouth a few days back . It was making me really uncomfy , so i gnawed on it viciously before realising i could do with some coke . The coke made it better but the damage was done .
the irritation hurts , feels uncomfy and damaged now .
RAWR ! :(

Gah . i want a new blogskin .
I also want both a dog and cat when i grow up ; a strong sturdy dog , and a cute fat tabby .


you clog up my mind .
youre real cute , but it wont go down good .

Today is going to be a pic filled post (:

09/02/09

Dudes im beat =X


Today feels like a super long day , but enjoyable nontheless .
Seems to me ive been winded up since morning and it lasted me a whole day .
Im back to normal somewhat ; able to feel contended enough and not so restless anymore . Maybe its the company i keep , maybe its the things i do .

I feel a little shift the airs and the flow .


Im not too easily angered with the things that go by now , at most hit with only tinges of resentment and bursts of fustration .
It's just daily life but im both a pessimist and an optimist . Some things just tug on the pessimistic side and i realised that could be the reason for undue stress .
And the thing , im apathic in nature anyways .
Its easy for me not to care .

Being hit with these feelings means im not doing it right , what the heck im i doing caring enough for there to be a leeway for idiots without brains or tact .
There are different boundaries for different people and im re-establishing them because im being too lenient .

Where did all these common sense disappear to for so long ? I should have seen it sooner .
For months , did i lose them with you ?
The lesser mortals around me dont deserve my effort .


Now I'll focus on playing my cards right . What i dont need i can throw for the moment and get it back later . i just have to remember to keep a spare card and then more spares . of course , ill be nice in throwing it away so its not to hard to get back . No need for bonds , bonds are hard work .




I may have gotten everything in order but now if only i could work on laziness , because i havent started revising yet , not one bit . Damn .

When i start writing like this , i always lose the mood to upload pictures and make small talk .
BUT I HAVE ALOT OF PICS !

ithinkyoureundeniablylovelyundisputablycharmingunexplainablyalluringandamillion
otherthingsamongst themwhichi'llbet'dkeepgeneawakeinbedallnight lol !



rini: till now I haven seen u wear the top I gave u when we're working in hp
haha , i got take pic with it before leh , next time i go out with you i wear ok ! ^^

Today is heavy eyeliner day :B





I'M SKY HIGH ! HAHA !
Pfft , being in good spirits is not a crime .

XDXD



I finished 2 books in 4 days .
fyi , thats half my normal speed , im normally done with one in a day , 2 in one at best .
But i havent been reading for a very long time , and one's a 590 page sucker .
Law Of Second Chances by James Sheehan is pretty good , its worth a read .

The image of the sub character keeps popping into my mind though .
If it were made into a movie , i suggest they pick the guy in the prisoner ship in TDK to star him .
The character in him is there definitely !
Trust me on this one .



TDK is quite a letdown if youre looking for Joker insights- which i obviously am .
I mean , touching on batman's past is understandable , it is about batman .
(never mind the notorious number of chapters) ,
but they do a little segment for scarecrow and chechen
(1 chapter for scarecrow),
whom both play a very minor minor role in the movie .
One chapter for scarecrow doesnt justify as there's no one chapter set aside for joker !
Joker's a major and Scarecrow's a minor !
Only Joker's dialogues are very consistent but that is the expected .


PLUS
the part where he turns and look back at the hospital frowning before jabbing at the detonator a couple more times watching in satisfaction while the rest of the building explodes then breaking out into his run
is left out !
:(

Im done with my GEMs too .
YEAH !

Youre growing on me a little , but i still detest attitudes like yours .



also today is plushie photo taking day ^_^

See the way she's squishing my heihei ! Bully !






Its strange .
Sometimes it's just fine , sometimes i have relapses , sometimes it means nothing at all , sometimes it means everything .
Where do i go from here ?
What are all my chances ?






Jayme: Which is y i don't noe wad's love.. and i dun recognise its feelings yet.
Jayme: I'm finally back to read the updates!!
haha , like finally :X . It will hit you sooner or later ! ^^
rini: I like ur hairstyle too! U wore formal?!
thanks ! yep , its an old picture .
MC: Ehhh CNY just over how to have no $...spent all alrdy?
Have ah , but budget little leh , havent bought big bag , small bag , skinnies , wallet . If buy all will be around $50 , $30 , $30 and $30 respectively already :(






Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away
Do you know what it feel like to be the last one to know that the lock on the door has changed

Hello .
Im not sure how to go about writing this one but I'll do my best . This is just another attempt at a biography of another part of my life :/
Also , since everyone all around are always dealing with their love issues and valentine's day is just around the corner , let's dedicate this post to love eh .

Well , the above was the initial plan , but it turned out too long . I sidetracked , so expect it the next post . Imma tired from all the writing , its a very long post . If you can't stand wordiness , you need out .
Cheers :D

Note:
I find , its easier to develop crushes or love deep when you're younger . No doubt very innocent , kids can get away with virtually anything ; and make friends with virtually anyone .
You just have to use a cute and innocent face and you can get a smile from anyone you want .
Needless to say , i did exploit this a little bit last time :X
after all , i tend to like older guys and this is one method that works like a charm .


Down side , i cant use it anymore .
Because being the smart beings that they are , people naturally assume kids are airheads . Just subconsciously classify them into that category , you are expected to behave in different ways from when you were young .
For me actually , i have understood all along .
And needless to say , being young had another advantage that when you grow up , you lose .
That is , the ability to draw people to you without doing a thing , and that was fine , that was cool . Its a good thing , plus you're not doing anything wrong .


It was at that point in time i found out , people are easy to manipulate . Although sad to say , my means were not that nicely planned , but well enough it got me through .
Ive been through this stage actually . I know how and why people like to deceive others . I know that dropping a sensitive topic that isnt real to talk on will invoke reactions in someone , draw them closer to you in a very cheap way .
But think about this , if those particular conversations never happened , would you be able to get close enough for the other party to even regard as a close friend or a friend at all ?
Nah , just someone that youd probably just say hi and bye to . or not .
This shortcut would outwit someone just wanting to make friends , and never got the chance .
Cant you see the unfairness in it ?

Good people are always the ones that have to go the hard way , and may never reach their destination . Bad ones get there in a jiffy .
I guess , this applies for me .


Doesnt seem to make sense to be true , to be real at all if that was the case right ?
I lived by this principle before , the first few years of my life .
You get a really nice feel doing this as well actually . Turn people against their own , make people work for you . And knowing when to submit . Its all about power and authority . And during this point , i realized that cowardice is one of my greatest flaws .
But as i got older , i stopped . Something changed , but i cant lay a finger on what .
I didnt want fame , rank , to be looked up to , to be the center of the crowd anymore .


I realized perhaps I just wanted to find something real , trying to see whether everyone has a fair place to be . Whether people actually treasure those that are genuine , or superficiality .
Of course , if i asked , eveyone would say genuine .
But being genuine doesnt really work well for me .
If deceit is used right , people around me'd make me feel wanted , needed , appreciated , looked up to . Genuine is low scale .
To live optimally , its up to dirty methods . If not , its more of a lone life .


I guess these are just the 2 sides to myself . But the other is already no longer dominant , no longer here (i think) because i dont feel it anymore . Im not sure of what i am really .
Im not sure if im supposed to be quiet , supposed to be noisy , or supposed to be someone who pulls the strings .
All I know is the people around me make me , or i can make them shape me .
Im not sure if i still have the means , im not sure if ive lost the touch .
Who knows , perhaps one day if im really shaken or drastically upset , the reflex might kick in . To people not within my circle of course . I always have this temptation to try , but im lazy too , im aware a few things are needed , like either a fresh start or planning , concentration .
I am either a very simple person , or a more complicated one .
Right now its everything at face value , what you see is what you get .
For now im just a good person with the short end of the stick , who sometimes teeters the brink of emotions .

It might be to do with the conflicting sides within me , but hey , who doesnt have them ?
I may be just a slightly more extreme case .


Alright , but some others probably face the same problems , and they dont go around ranting about how unfair the world is to them , so i guess i shouldnt either .
I can take it in my stride and try to achieve the best of what i can the way i am , albeit weird moodswings .


Ive pinned some hope to love actually , if love is really as great as they say , as its made up to be , then this person no matter what , would be able to keep giving me love no matter what right ?
Wrong .
I dont think ive found the right person , and i dont see that kind of love existing . The only time i think i do is in people that just broke up who are really sad . But if you really loved the other party so much , how come none of these relationships ive seen ever succeeded . Wasnt the love enough , enough to pull it through , to last it a lifetime ?
Furthermore , a lot of people are chaste , fickle , greedy .
How many put themselves first before others ? Definitely too many .
They cant do with just one , they want many . They dont care about consequences , they just care about themselves . I think Ive been getting more disappointed . No matter where these people come from , they are all the same .
And the one that i carried high hopes on , the one that i harboured thoughts of being together with in the deepest recess of my heart , the one which i wanted to grant me what it took to love a lifetime ; as much as it hurts , let me down too , just like my mind had predicted but my heart refused to wane .

Though ive finally seen the light , i wonder , if i had the chance , would i give up a new love for you ? How can i say youre not worth it , even if my mind tells me that its positive , because youre the best i ever had .
The reason why i would give a shot at love again is because ive finally ascertained with a few reasons that you wont ever be coming back , not anymore .
If this iron wall falls... I can just hope maybe by then itd be fine .



Finally im down to the lighter topic on love life . Told you its quite a read already didnt I :X

To kick off , i am actually the kind of person that after developing a crush , or after loving someone , will most likely still have feelings left for that person that can be rekindled .
So I kind of have a wider range . Perfect . (this is supposed to sound sarcastic if you didnt realize)


So lets leave this to the next post if i still have mood for it eh .
Going off to school soon
( i think . i have this very heavy lazy cloud looming over me that makes me not want to go )
I mean come on , last day of school already , and a 2 hour lecture doesnt seem to justify the effort . But yeah , i need notes .
Somebody tell me to better manage my time so i can study and shop next week .

I hearts my wall nyaa ! :)



Sometimes if you close your eyes , you'd feel yourself suppressed behind barriers , behind facades , behind walls , and it is then you can see .
But how much will you sacrifice , how far will you go for a piece of bliss ?
Nah , you know its not even worth thinking about .
The word 'eternal' , on earth , is not easily found , all good things will come and then go .
Even if you try to hold on , try to reach out , it'll still go .
The more you want , the more it goes- when it returns you know better than to take it , but against your better judgement , you do anyway .
If you give and it's never returned- at least not to the extent you deserve , who's to say you can't take it all ? Just don't go overboard .
Integrity , pffft .
I say the only thing that's holding you back is conscience and consequences .





When you really look at me , there's always a silent promise in your eyes , like as if you still have love left for me . I havent seen you for such a long time now , but the image of you always flickers by