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Wonderlust ♥

*updates for yesterday will be done once i get da pics !~*

I stopped altogether . Your exsistence shouldnt be an issue since youre not in my life anymore . Youre not going to try to be in my life anymore . You said so yourself , in a way . I cant be as weak to still want to love you . I dont know when you werent true , I only know it felt like the planets aligned the days my eyes were open to you . I stopped , but Ive been dreaming of you ; which in these dreams , to me you were someone i couldnt bear to lose although i have moved on . And on your part , you said you chose wrong .Then when i try to sort out how i really feel , there's an unforgivable ache in my heart , so i stop , and think , im better off not trying to find out . Im fine the way it is now .








Fathin: Nice energetic music. Nice!
thanks ! haha :}
Fathin: Whoa! I dont see Mich taggind her own tagboard.. Lol.
hehe , cos i reply in the posts , easier :D
Mars: Looks like i spam too much.. x_x
no larhx~ nice spams from marina are welcome XD
Mars: Woah... And linkin park got new song?? NICE!!!!! Can send me da song? =)
sent alrdy . You want anymore ?
Mars: And yupz michelle, remember to msg me whether u skipped lunch tmr or not kkaiz? =DD
.. i texted you , but my phone's crazy !
Mars: Lol Miichelle as Gene's manager?? I support!!! XD But 2nd photo how come got white white stuff? He has magic powers O.O
photoshop~ Hmm .. Magic powers of teleportation !
Jamie: I'm so proud!!!XD
Jamie: message

lolx ! advertise on your blog also lah . Xmas post leh ! So dead :X
Gene: and where did those photos come from! I don't even remember!!
Nyaaaahahaha :P
Gene: RAWRSSS! even the blinked photo you also can like that!!!! >.<
Told you is good take lai de =x hehe ~ Monday coming lers !
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=_= Fcuk . Exams are causing me a lot of angst .

Ok , studies too . My study materials always manage to disappear when i need or want them ; in which finding them makes me terribly angry . The longer i find , the more angry i get . I search through an entire stupid stack of papers and give up , afterwards finding out that the notes have been eluding me in an easy to find place , which i searched a gazillion times . So after finding it , an hour will have passed maybe ?
I hate it . Hate the load of this .

At least i bought 2 things today despite this horrible cycle ive been going through .
Nowdays things always catch my eye when im walking by . Things that i really like .
I appreciate it , but i need money too .
Attachment attachment :)


Non dreamers dont understand dreamers .
Dreamers are unrealistic , impractical , whereas non-dreamers are realistic and pracitcal .
Non-dreamers can be downers because they just cant phantom the ways dreamers think ; dreamers like to dream but they arent stupid or dense ; so opinions are pretty much unwanted .

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Back by popular demand ...



Ive decided to post pictures of Gene ! :)
Ive found an old weapon , my old handphone :d



Red Triangle Gene with puppet lion by Merl and Mac Donalds Sepia Gene with Alfred





Disclaimer: this blog isnt a Gene fansite .

I should set up a Gene fansite shouldnt i ? I'd be pretty darn good at managing the contents . I'll especially take charge of the weekly photo upload section , where throughout the week shots of Gene are taken and then uploaded onto the site .
Of course there'd be a forum too , for people to post comments on Gene .
I'll read through the comments , approve those that are good ; and people will level up based on the number of comments that they can get approved . Also , there will be a recruitment section , where the person who takes the most photos of Gene to share will be recruited to join the motion ! :B
Haha !



There are a number of reasons that i havent been uploading Gene pics , and I'll go through them one by one .
We meet up lesser nowadays . Godbrother doesnt allow me to take pics ! Added with the factor that my new phone camera is slower :( and once you shake or move , the photo is gone unlike my old one . His speed has improved over the months , so imma gonna hafta change a new phone soon . Lol . So basically the reason is that i dont have that much opportunities and the thrill of it has subsided a little . Not to worry , until i get gene fansite up and running . Wait- can i do it for a living ?


Although misunderstandings arising from people looking at my stash of Gene pics and Gene himself sometimes happens- like 90% of the time . I wonder why they dont see us the way i do . But people are weird anyway eh . There's a certain kind of logic that eludes them completely D:



Now , I feature , Jamie's work !
Her newest fetish , cropping pictures . Its good right :)





So who says close eye Gene isnt a good take hmm .



Now Gene is on deviantart too !
http://burningxdrake.deviantart.com/art/enlightened-gene-114087183
Gene is taking over all forms of media :/
Leave a comment if you happen to drop by there .




Chionging Spaceman by the killers for the whole day today . *smiles*
WOOTS ! THERE'S NO TESTS TMR , THE BLISS ~
I want to get tt pair of earrings . So maybe i should pierce .



Mars: Eh? U have attachment aldy.. When? D:
next week :(
WENDEE: u michelle from blgps? i really cant recognise u !!!
nope , im not !
Fathin: All the best!
thanks , i need it >_<
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perhaps if i turn like this...

Today's photos arent tt great , but here they are anyway .


I laid off the stay up till early morning tatics for abit yesterday cos audit , i really cannot take . screw it ! Is there going to be an audit II ?! Sigh . I'll persevere , its just 2 more papers- although im positive that tax will be a goner too but i can only try my best to do what i can to try and save myself . Later is going to be a long night but no motivation to start at all now . How ? Btw , my long nights are only up till 3am or so at max and half of the time i will be daydreaming/sketching , so it aint tt great and nows close to 12 ? 1.5 hrs bleh . This is random yet again but i like the taste of onions , capsicum and egg topped off with mayonnaise , it tastes great , like reallllyyy tasty , and its weird since its not a meat base combination , funny how ive come to like it alot . i think i havent consumed bubble tea for at least one day now . maybe two , and ive been eating less but kinda spurged on scrumptious food today so i suppose it aint so bad :)

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Here's the proof that dyi dyes without bleach doesnt really work .. Especially if it's red .
Haha , gnna do the real thing after attachment :B
MUD CHERRY MUD CHERRY !

I hate exams , the previous 2 papers suck .
Cant they give more conventional questions , and not waste minutes and hours of my life reading and understanding something i couldnt be bothered less about ??
Quit coming out things i know nuts about :(
Audit is up next . You should know how much i dislike it . You know every time audit is coming there's a pattern to my movements . i will lose focus and do nothing but look at the materials with a very pained face , like ARGH . I havent started , so wish me luck , i really hope im not suicidal .


My shoulders hurt.
I want that billabong wallet ; kinda .
I want drum mania v3 .
I want grape/peach red/milk tea with pearls .
RANDOM !
But i could do with some keeping happy
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Damn , my platforms hurt .
After wearing it for the 2nd day in a row , i decided i really needa break from it .
Had to bus home today !
Other footwears are a little worn out , but wth nya .
ILL TRY FOR NICER UPDATES WHEN EXAMS ARENT HERE (:


Fathin: U and Jamie go shopping at where?? Clothes very nice!!
erm.. she bought hers online , mine i cant rmb . hehe . nxt time shop tgt ?
Ary: heyyy i got the same pic as you! the one that says 'you qing'
haha , nice right ? the meaning , and the Ren looks cute too ! did i get it from you ?

☆☆
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My com takes a freaking 10 minutes and more to load; the time taken till i can surf the net and chat on MSN . Super lag i tell you , i wan a desktop RAWR ! A printer and scanner while im at that too .

Today i accidentally set up a poor shopkeeper lol !
Because i forgot to bring my atm card , i told him to wait , i'll come back , but i never returned . Haha . Gnna go back thr to get tt platforms tmr :)
Something i spotted when walking home .

I should study.. Cheers .
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Today's photos kinda suck .

Nvm , ignore the face , see the outfit :D
First time wearing this outer top , but this one's excuable cos its new :d

Here's another pic .
Jamie cut hair today , now she can do sideburns too


Blurred one of Gene . NO FAIR ! HE SAID HE WOULD LET ME TAKE ! bullies .__.


With a dragon plush , the best coloured one worx .


You know , when in a bus you stand up , obviously the person next to you should give way to you cos youre going to alight right ? What kind of dimwit continues talking and doing nothing ?
Cant believe this dimwit actually exists , and dare to flaunt overwhelming stupidity infront of me .
Im spoiling for a fight lately , been trying to keep it under covers .
Next time might not go so well .


MC: Whoa what did ur mom cook?
replied you on msn XD
Fathin: Interesting playlist.. =)
thanks :) took one song from yours !


I need an outlet to vent my wrath at ,
or a channel to channel it all away .

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Im done with the edits for the new skin , hope ya like \m/
on second though , strike that . It's perfectly cool considering i like it . Not sure how long it'll take for me to change it ; cos imma quite tired of blogskins with boxes already :/


You know what ?
I kind of got what i asked for when i said i cant blog well when im in a good mood or happy one . I had it coming eh .
Im in a bad mood now and lets just say people disgust me .

Never it fails that a week passes by without me feeling at peace inside . My sunday was digusting but it got better and so is wednesday now . __
Cant take the stupid fcuktards that are everywhere , but hey , what am i to do ?
Nothing to do about it is there ? Not like there's a vaccine to cure idiocy , so its just me on my own . Sometimes i digust myself too .


Maybe it's just me that's got issues , but i cant stand a lot of things . I cant stand humans , i cant stand myself . im better of being with animals who can't in any way annoy me the least .
& that being said , i might as well spend my life and love with jerks and assholes considering that everyone is so infuriatingly retarded .

The best part is , now my heart doesnt desire anyone but you , because its a misplaced piece of trash i know .

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New skin but pardon me , its not done yet .
Cos photobucket's gone and maintenanced on me !
Oh well , check back tmr :)


Ive been waiting for a call to go out !
Its probably coming soon , but what ive done for the day is to play bball early in the morning with MC & after tt , slept and slacked my hours away .
My mom is in an experimental mood today , ive been fed some inventions , plus ate heavyheavy lunch already D:


ps. i cant blog well when in a good mood or a happy one
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This is nice , but not really my type .
Grabbed it off someone's profile page somewhere..


These 2 , i want ! <3


The right side of my throat and mouth is hurtingg pretty bad . SIGH .
It could be due to too litte sleep yesterday mayhaps ?
COST sucked :(


rini - Jamie and Michelle: lalala~ lalala ~ l ~ alalla~ Gd LuK FOR eXAMS k
thanks! but i killed my first one .
MC: *dog's
MC: Haha u got tt right! Dog somewhere on my bed anyway!
hehe ^^



i dont know how to do it better . enlighten me .
youve got the right groove
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Boo . Updated playlist (:

& since quite a few ppl are asking , nope , lemon milk tea doesnt taste good :x
Just soso cos the lemon taste doesnt go well with milk tea . Lemon green tea is much better . Take my word for that !

Okaeee time to hit the books alrdy , or wtf papers .
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So i think my cap is the perfect item to take mug shots with , what's it to you ?



Oh no , im high again .
In all honesty I dont know what's been hitting me :/
I guess im looking forward finally , no guarantees or anything , but the way im progressing is fine .
And ive decided that there's no need for a second blog , this one's coveted , I'll just write it all here . but i'll still keep the other one just in case , and keep that nice blogname all for myself :d


GAH . I DONT WANT TO STUDY ! SOMEONE HELP MEEE !
havent started either . perfectttt


getting to you is hard !
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I should try the dream interpretation thing that Godbrother Gene uses , because i woke up today and realised that i keep dreaming of the same thing for a few times now .
Its Lemon milk tea =_= .
Strange that my dream also revolves around bubble tea .
In my dream it always happens that i want to buy a drink , and i always cant decide what i want to drink . After thinking quite long , i will realize i want Lemon milk tea , but everytime i order , the person will tell me that there's no more left .
Just fyi , i have never drunk Lemon milk tea before so i dont know why i keep getting the urge to and failing to .
Im going to try it later and perhaps stop dreaming of it ! D:
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Im really really sleepy . I can't bring myself to study .
Might as well just spend my days working , getting money to get me by . Schooling is such a chore .
I may be young , i may be blind ; or perhaps not .
Fcuk , i hate it when my eraser gets misplaced .


Now where was I ? Happy Valentines Day (never mind that this is belated)
Actually , I dont see much of a point in this occassion , but i cant deny some of the proceedings are nice .
However it should be a little more improvised no ?
What kind of weird mood have i landed myself into this time . i think im happy but the tiredness is driving me abit crazy .
Sleep ? I would if I could .

Hoho .

Lets talk about my first 'love' then (take it as a dedication). The one more special and deep than all the rest that can be counted as something more than a crush , was in primary school ; i take it was 4 . At that time he seemed perfect to me , but even so i could see , that there was alot of potential in him to go bad . Probably he is also the only one younger and smaller than me , but well , nontheless im his younger godsister , him my older godbrother so i suppose , we can compromise eh . Well , about his potential , lets just say he didnt really have it for studies , although he can manage to scrape through . He's more into sports like running , soccer , sepak takraw . Does them quite good with the lithe , small and wiry frame . And i know academic wise , he's dropping ; thanks to a yearbook .. So i hope he'll be fine . Well even if he's a dropout that's alright . I just hope he'll try to keep his hands off things , enjoy himself , stay safe and take care . Our first conversation was one fine day after a science center outing , me bringing back one of my prized plushies and the relationship started with teh plush . haha ! MC has one too , a black dog , promoting some search engine . Layco asia something i think . That was one of the best moments i guess . After 4 years i think i got over him , and i havent seen him in 5 years. Sad isnt it . NMQD

The formatting has gone and screwed up on me again . And the above is quite deviod of emotion . Gosh , im weird right now . GOODNIGHTS !


Ary: *read**read* on a reading rampage......tired. reading rampage >_< size="4">MC: Yikes, use coke to make the ulcer heal better? Sounds scary! you never tried before ? just drink the coke .
Fathin: Haha. Then wont e dog and cat fight? can keep them from small together so they wont fight when they grow up ^^
rini - gene: u should have a tagboard!Gene: hmm. I used to... but got spam. so I use this comment system I can moderate at least.
rini - Jamie&Michelle: EH u going on saturday? The sentosa outing?! I lost my hp so don't contact me through tt whoops . Not going . I hope William had fun.
Fathin: Jamie has good taste in clothes. It looks good on Mich. Hehe.. XD
Jayme: Seriously.. my nose should be smaller..'
Jayme: Send me the 2 pics!!! Shirt spoil le then u dare top wear...=_=
Hmm? okie. remind me when you see me online ! haha . is not spoil is circumstances lol .

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Progress on COST = none .
BLEH !
Its the last thing on my mind...

Ive developed an ulcer on the side of my mouth a few days back . It was making me really uncomfy , so i gnawed on it viciously before realising i could do with some coke . The coke made it better but the damage was done .
the irritation hurts , feels uncomfy and damaged now .
RAWR ! :(

Gah . i want a new blogskin .
I also want both a dog and cat when i grow up ; a strong sturdy dog , and a cute fat tabby .


you clog up my mind .
youre real cute , but it wont go down good .
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Today is going to be a pic filled post (:


With the contrast , can tell that my mouth casts quite a funny shadow ! Haha ! Its cool . If only they were hidden fangs...


Anyways , this is one of my tops that i wore for the first time yesterday although it has been with me for one year plus :/
Its my 17th birthday present from Jamie , and 17 actually means alot . For me that is :D
I guess i got over the words: I AM A DIVA written on the front , cos the blings dropped off somewhat and heck , who would read them anyway right !
And mustered up what i took to wear it ! It was tempting cos it was nice XD

ENJOY DA PICS !






I still have somemore left but lets save them for another day . My short update is done , i hafta go to school soon :(




Mars: Uwah michelle u noe how to use eyeliner? x_x
yep , the basic i think i do ?
MC: Yo! Let's go play sm bball to lessen ur stress!
Yeah , but we can never seem to get a day down :(
Gene: SPARE CARD! blublublublublu
Gene: GAWWWWWW! SP
Gene: I mma not keeping awake in bed!!
Gah ! you will ! haha . Lol , that one spare card i happy liao .
Fathin: Ur bangs same as jamie. Haha. Cool!!
Fathin: U look so pretty. The hair + eyeliner = pretty.. =)
Thanks , Hehe *_* . Our bangs dont look that similar in person . I wonder why..




Its been quite long since i tried finding any Zoro .
Here's some ZoroxSanji ! ;)













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09/02/09

Dudes im beat =X


Today feels like a super long day , but enjoyable nontheless .
Seems to me ive been winded up since morning and it lasted me a whole day .
Im back to normal somewhat ; able to feel contended enough and not so restless anymore . Maybe its the company i keep , maybe its the things i do .

I feel a little shift the airs and the flow .


Im not too easily angered with the things that go by now , at most hit with only tinges of resentment and bursts of fustration .
It's just daily life but im both a pessimist and an optimist . Some things just tug on the pessimistic side and i realised that could be the reason for undue stress .
And the thing , im apathic in nature anyways .
Its easy for me not to care .

Being hit with these feelings means im not doing it right , what the heck im i doing caring enough for there to be a leeway for idiots without brains or tact .
There are different boundaries for different people and im re-establishing them because im being too lenient .

Where did all these common sense disappear to for so long ? I should have seen it sooner .
For months , did i lose them with you ?
The lesser mortals around me dont deserve my effort .


Now I'll focus on playing my cards right . What i dont need i can throw for the moment and get it back later . i just have to remember to keep a spare card and then more spares . of course , ill be nice in throwing it away so its not to hard to get back . No need for bonds , bonds are hard work .




I may have gotten everything in order but now if only i could work on laziness , because i havent started revising yet , not one bit . Damn .

When i start writing like this , i always lose the mood to upload pictures and make small talk .
BUT I HAVE ALOT OF PICS !

ithinkyoureundeniablylovelyundisputablycharmingunexplainablyalluringandamillion
otherthingsamongst themwhichi'llbet'dkeepgeneawakeinbedallnight lol !



rini: till now I haven seen u wear the top I gave u when we're working in hp
haha , i got take pic with it before leh , next time i go out with you i wear ok ! ^^
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Today is heavy eyeliner day :B





I'M SKY HIGH ! HAHA !
Pfft , being in good spirits is not a crime .

XDXD



I finished 2 books in 4 days .
fyi , thats half my normal speed , im normally done with one in a day , 2 in one at best .
But i havent been reading for a very long time , and one's a 590 page sucker .
Law Of Second Chances by James Sheehan is pretty good , its worth a read .

The image of the sub character keeps popping into my mind though .
If it were made into a movie , i suggest they pick the guy in the prisoner ship in TDK to star him .
The character in him is there definitely !
Trust me on this one .



TDK is quite a letdown if youre looking for Joker insights- which i obviously am .
I mean , touching on batman's past is understandable , it is about batman .
(never mind the notorious number of chapters) ,
but they do a little segment for scarecrow and chechen
(1 chapter for scarecrow),
whom both play a very minor minor role in the movie .
One chapter for scarecrow doesnt justify as there's no one chapter set aside for joker !
Joker's a major and Scarecrow's a minor !
Only Joker's dialogues are very consistent but that is the expected .


PLUS
the part where he turns and look back at the hospital frowning before jabbing at the detonator a couple more times watching in satisfaction while the rest of the building explodes then breaking out into his run
is left out !
:(

Im done with my GEMs too .
YEAH !

Youre growing on me a little , but i still detest attitudes like yours .



also today is plushie photo taking day ^_^

See the way she's squishing my heihei ! Bully !






Its strange .
Sometimes it's just fine , sometimes i have relapses , sometimes it means nothing at all , sometimes it means everything .
Where do i go from here ?
What are all my chances ?






Jayme: Which is y i don't noe wad's love.. and i dun recognise its feelings yet.
Jayme: I'm finally back to read the updates!!

haha , like finally :X . It will hit you sooner or later ! ^^
rini: I like ur hairstyle too! U wore formal?!
thanks ! yep , its an old picture .
MC: Ehhh CNY just over how to have no $...spent all alrdy?
Have ah , but budget little leh , havent bought big bag , small bag , skinnies , wallet . If buy all will be around $50 , $30 , $30 and $30 respectively already :(






Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away
Do you know what it feel like to be the last one to know that the lock on the door has changed
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RANDOM !


I like this pic . Looking at it inspires me- hairwise i mean :)
im thinking long or short , highlights or dye , spike or no .
Screw anything like perm , super not appealing to me :/
Maybe I'll try for long with red highlights .
But then again with red there's an easy to fade problem .
Maybe I'll just go with dye and colour all mud cherry .

After attachment pay , any takers ?


Or should i settle piercings first ?
Piercings need convincing lehhs , and all that convincing just for ears pierce =-=
They are pretty ordinary and i can do without .
I would really really prefer and like a lip one :/


I need a school bag and an outing bag as well .
NO MONEY ! ):



my brain feels pretty darn cloudy and laggy today .
I have to recuperate from the previous post . Writing juices gone :/
Plus the frequent sleeping late and waking late makes me even more fogged !
Heck , if you slept late and woke early you might even feel more refreshed then i do now cos i normally do when my clock works like that .
any solutions to this syndrome out there ? :(



The stupid stupid GEMs assignment and test keeps slipping my mind . Crap . Troublesome .


Grimmjow♥



Fathin: Aaahh!!!!! Ur posts sooo long!!! Heheh. =X
hehe yep , especially the last one :X
Ary: Modoki, I update ler. T_T
i read le >_<
Ary: Gene, I second that! HAHAS!
Gene: lol! average size... that reminds me of what 'average' is..
! Bullies !

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Hello .
Im not sure how to go about writing this one but I'll do my best . This is just another attempt at a biography of another part of my life :/
Also , since everyone all around are always dealing with their love issues and valentine's day is just around the corner , let's dedicate this post to love eh .


Well , the above was the initial plan , but it turned out too long . I sidetracked , so expect it the next post . Imma tired from all the writing , its a very long post . If you can't stand wordiness , you need out .
Cheers :D

Note:
I find , its easier to develop crushes or love deep when you're younger . No doubt very innocent , kids can get away with virtually anything ; and make friends with virtually anyone .
You just have to use a cute and innocent face and you can get a smile from anyone you want .
Needless to say , i did exploit this a little bit last time :X
after all , i tend to like older guys and this is one method that works like a charm .


Down side , i cant use it anymore .
Because being the smart beings that they are , people naturally assume kids are airheads . Just subconsciously classify them into that category , you are expected to behave in different ways from when you were young .
For me actually , i have understood all along .
And needless to say , being young had another advantage that when you grow up , you lose .
That is , the ability to draw people to you without doing a thing , and that was fine , that was cool . Its a good thing , plus you're not doing anything wrong .


It was at that point in time i found out , people are easy to manipulate . Although sad to say , my means were not that nicely planned , but well enough it got me through .
Ive been through this stage actually . I know how and why people like to deceive others . I know that dropping a sensitive topic that isnt real to talk on will invoke reactions in someone , draw them closer to you in a very cheap way .
But think about this , if those particular conversations never happened , would you be able to get close enough for the other party to even regard as a close friend or a friend at all ?
Nah , just someone that youd probably just say hi and bye to . or not .
This shortcut would outwit someone just wanting to make friends , and never got the chance .
Cant you see the unfairness in it ?

Good people are always the ones that have to go the hard way , and may never reach their destination . Bad ones get there in a jiffy .
I guess , this applies for me .


Doesnt seem to make sense to be true , to be real at all if that was the case right ?
I lived by this principle before , the first few years of my life .
You get a really nice feel doing this as well actually . Turn people against their own , make people work for you . And knowing when to submit . Its all about power and authority . And during this point , i realized that cowardice is one of my greatest flaws .
But as i got older , i stopped . Something changed , but i cant lay a finger on what .
I didnt want fame , rank , to be looked up to , to be the center of the crowd anymore .


I realized perhaps I just wanted to find something real , trying to see whether everyone has a fair place to be . Whether people actually treasure those that are genuine , or superficiality .
Of course , if i asked , eveyone would say genuine .
But being genuine doesnt really work well for me .
If deceit is used right , people around me'd make me feel wanted , needed , appreciated , looked up to . Genuine is low scale .
To live optimally , its up to dirty methods . If not , its more of a lone life .


I guess these are just the 2 sides to myself . But the other is already no longer dominant , no longer here (i think) because i dont feel it anymore . Im not sure of what i am really .
Im not sure if im supposed to be quiet , supposed to be noisy , or supposed to be someone who pulls the strings .
All I know is the people around me make me , or i can make them shape me .
Im not sure if i still have the means , im not sure if ive lost the touch .
Who knows , perhaps one day if im really shaken or drastically upset , the reflex might kick in . To people not within my circle of course . I always have this temptation to try , but im lazy too , im aware a few things are needed , like either a fresh start or planning , concentration .
I am either a very simple person , or a more complicated one .
Right now its everything at face value , what you see is what you get .
For now im just a good person with the short end of the stick , who sometimes teeters the brink of emotions .

It might be to do with the conflicting sides within me , but hey , who doesnt have them ?
I may be just a slightly more extreme case .


Alright , but some others probably face the same problems , and they dont go around ranting about how unfair the world is to them , so i guess i shouldnt either .
I can take it in my stride and try to achieve the best of what i can the way i am , albeit weird moodswings .


Ive pinned some hope to love actually , if love is really as great as they say , as its made up to be , then this person no matter what , would be able to keep giving me love no matter what right ?
Wrong .
I dont think ive found the right person , and i dont see that kind of love existing . The only time i think i do is in people that just broke up who are really sad . But if you really loved the other party so much , how come none of these relationships ive seen ever succeeded . Wasnt the love enough , enough to pull it through , to last it a lifetime ?
Furthermore , a lot of people are chaste , fickle , greedy .
How many put themselves first before others ? Definitely too many .
They cant do with just one , they want many . They dont care about consequences , they just care about themselves . I think Ive been getting more disappointed . No matter where these people come from , they are all the same .
And the one that i carried high hopes on , the one that i harboured thoughts of being together with in the deepest recess of my heart , the one which i wanted to grant me what it took to love a lifetime ; as much as it hurts , let me down too , just like my mind had predicted but my heart refused to wane .

Though ive finally seen the light , i wonder , if i had the chance , would i give up a new love for you ? How can i say youre not worth it , even if my mind tells me that its positive , because youre the best i ever had .
The reason why i would give a shot at love again is because ive finally ascertained with a few reasons that you wont ever be coming back , not anymore .
If this iron wall falls... I can just hope maybe by then itd be fine .



Finally im down to the lighter topic on love life . Told you its quite a read already didnt I :X

To kick off , i am actually the kind of person that after developing a crush , or after loving someone , will most likely still have feelings left for that person that can be rekindled .
So I kind of have a wider range . Perfect . (this is supposed to sound sarcastic if you didnt realize)


So lets leave this to the next post if i still have mood for it eh .
Going off to school soon
( i think . i have this very heavy lazy cloud looming over me that makes me not want to go )
I mean come on , last day of school already , and a 2 hour lecture doesnt seem to justify the effort . But yeah , i need notes .
Somebody tell me to better manage my time so i can study and shop next week .
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New pic , but without the edits it cannot do without ! The different version i dont wanna release for some reasons :B If you wanna , get from me , or use your own means to find out :)
hint ; its actually really easy really :d




I pretty like this version too .



Today the main thing that i wanna complain about are WALLETS !
They are either look too old , too childish , too plain , not too nicely designed or too expensive .
And finally , when i thought i found just the right one for me , it uses a butterfly theme D: Fancy that , many freaking butterflies on the whole wallet with a butterfly chain , yes , a butterfly chain !


Not that i have anything against butterflies , its just that me and butterflies , we dont go hand in hand .
Unless of course its a nice design- like cool inking or patterns . Too many will overdo and ruin it though .

Btw it costs around 26 . Fits the budget , right material , right style , exactly the pattern i want . But because of the theme its GONE .

I think . I should do a couple of wallets design and sell them , then they'd cover up the lack of choices in the market . Not forgetting my commissions(:

Lol. If i could huh :/




Lemme digress for abit . Couples nowadays are quite open right ? Well , not all , some . But frankly Im pretty neutral about it . what they want to do is their business and anyway , they might be having some problems/issues with their relationship you dont know off , so yeah , i dont diss . Unless of course , it really is too much :/ and i still dont diss . I tell of . =D

So just a note , recently Ive been bumping into very weird couples .
Gosh , more and more weirdness is injected into my life eh =_=
Some of these instances happens when Im with Jamie . The couple consists of a very pretty woman , but a cmi guy .
No , not only one case but many cases .
Fyi , when i say cmi , it does not refer to below average looking guys , but those which fall on a negative scale yknow ?
Nothing to do with dressing , do up , type and all , its just those , one look and you can tell something is not very right with this person .

Ohh , its too hard to explain . I refuse to find a picture as an example so just imagine !


Today there was an old couple . gropes here and there =_=..
I think that when im at that age id probably rather stay home and nap together . Cos when youre old , there doesnt seem to be much of a turn on right ?
But then again , ive yet to get there- if i will , so ive yet to find out .
but no , definitely not that .
Even though they make the effort to dress up younger , it doesnt seem to alleviate the matter ?


Oh yeah , does spotting two crossdressing old men in a single day count as weird to you ? Yep , happened to me .
Ppl somemore follow the old man in hopes of snapping a picture of him or something .
Me , i guess i could'nt be bothered . Picture of bling man is enough for me and after the
accused-of-taking-photo incident on a absurd target , ive decided to lay my expertise off this field ! RAWR !


goodnight ;d




its not about how much i feel for you to move me to do things for you ,
and i dont think its about whether i have enough love and sense to let go either .
then what is it ?
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Im slacking in sch now :/
Missed lessons again , and am freakinnggg bored here , today , now . :/
At least i have an almost completed new piece , quite happy with the way it turned out :D
I might upload it sometime . Maybe .
2 weeks till exams , I'll probably be waiting till the last minute to whack them notes and papers .
NO MOOD UHH !
I WANT TO SHOP! :X
-falling wad of cash fall on me pls >_<

MODOKI SCARED FAT?!! tats a first. tot u say fat fat ish good der. modoki thin thin not cute ler. hahahas. u want eat everything der wat. nth new. not glutton = not modoki.
haha , cannot too much de , you know anot ! Got limit to average size de.. Muahaha ! MOKONA MODOKI BORED !
jayme: U will think u can get fat de ar??=D
Hanor :/
MC: Hehe finally can c GJ's face!Shop wif me??
Yes ! Guess no need to change bg :) Sure but when ? Sat you not free :(
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I hearts my wall nyaa ! :)



Sometimes if you close your eyes , you'd feel yourself suppressed behind barriers , behind facades , behind walls , and it is then you can see .
But how much will you sacrifice , how far will you go for a piece of bliss ?
Nah , you know its not even worth thinking about .
The word 'eternal' , on earth , is not easily found , all good things will come and then go .
Even if you try to hold on , try to reach out , it'll still go .
The more you want , the more it goes- when it returns you know better than to take it , but against your better judgement , you do anyway .
If you give and it's never returned- at least not to the extent you deserve , who's to say you can't take it all ? Just don't go overboard .
Integrity , pffft .
I say the only thing that's holding you back is conscience and consequences .





When you really look at me , there's always a silent promise in your eyes , like as if you still have love left for me . I havent seen you for such a long time now , but the image of you always flickers by
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+65. Writes, draws and paints occasionally. Find me in game @miiooki@reihaku or mayhaps another alias

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