im feeling quite opressed again , i dont know why ... *sigh*
perhaps feeling a little out of place :(


I'll digress again , i dont exactly like the course im taking now , but its alright, bearable . Feels like prolonging schooling or something .
Matt says that he just wants to just pass , get his diploma and say byebye to school , cos it's not in line with his dreams . Hmm . finally a soul that feels the same way .
I figured a really long time ago , what would be ideal for me would be to take up a part time/full time job and do freelancing . And for that , i dont really need a diploma... Still , its safer to get one i presume.. Since i have the means and ability , might as well eh ? But there's no heart to it .
I have never had dreams about being an accountant , earning big money or travelling all over the world .

Just to do what i want , be recognized for it , and to earn enough with excess to spare , is all i really need .


I know I still have a long way to go . My drawings are not supremely extreme that it'll land me fame , i still have alot to work on , and im not sure if i'll ever get there at this rate im going..
& What's up with career ? Do we really need to have any in mind ? I just dont see the reason .
People can spend their lives slogging all the way up to the top , just to see it isnt what they want , they dont have the means , the tolerance . Financial crisis ? Retrenchment ? What's the point really ?
BLEH . I rather it simple .
Well maybe thats just me .


Im feeling restricted , or at least , i dont think im getting the amount of freedom i deserve .
Why do I have to report where im going , why and who i go out with ? Why am i restricted to the amount of time i can do this and that ? Why is it that the only things i can do that gets approval is things that i am not really keen on doing ? Why cant I do what i want ?
Why ?
Is it because of religion ? I dont believe its so restrictive .
I want alot of things i cant have .
If i follow my parents' idea of a model being ( i presume ) I'd be hoping that the world ends every single day , what would be the point of existence ?

Of course I always do the thing i do best , I dont think about it .

But when im pressured it does graze my thoughts . Because of this I too feel my life isnt optimal . Of course since Im not the only one with these sentiments , therefore i think , i'd get by .
Maybe im getting pessimistic , but im feeling everything just seems to be contradicting what i want . It doesnt fit into place nicely like it should . Life to me should be really carefree .

It's also prefectly normal for girls or even guys for that matter , to await the day that they'll finally find the right one for them . Since young , ive always believed that one day definitely , it'll happen for everyone .
Now i see , its difficult ; really . At the rate im going , I'll have to pull off a romeo juliet to get there .

Ok , i presume you people are pretty tired of my rantings already . Idk why i just cant help it right now :(
pleaseplease , get better soon ! :(

Lost shark shark today :'(
Went out with Jamie today t Rini's house to collect our tops , tried out rini's dress , chilled , got what we needed done after that .
Thanks Rini for taking the top .. I know you dont really like it because of the colour and it isnt what you chose . I'll make it up somehow ok :X
Long time no got out with rini ler:) tmr~ we are . I need a new hp accessory , strap feels empty
:(

Still , had fun today :)


stupid animosity everywhere , till im not able to think straight .
i feel like i still owe you something . Should i just throw away that thought ?
invigorated , yes . Carry on and there might be no turning back .