• Home
  • About
  • Contact
    • Category
    • Category
    • Category
  • Shop
  • Advertise
facebook twitter instagram pinterest bloglovin Email

Wonderlust ♥

Over the years, the thought to make this blog private has crossed my mind a couple of times. I mean, the blogging scene is dead and my posts are mostly for myself. Heck, even I don't revisit my posts sometimes.

I do occasionally drop an informative (does random and sometimes unproven tips count as informative?) sort of post, but that only happens once in a blue moon. And by blue moon, I mean once in every couple of years. 

Mostly, this blog remains a space for my not always coherent thoughts as well as poetry, when the mood strikes. The honest reason why I'm still keeping it open boils down to nostalgia. It's a whimsical thing, having a window to my soul, the inner workings of my mind tucked away in some forgotten place on the net. And if someone stumbles upon this window seeking some comfort and familiarity, then it'll be almost magical, wouldn't it? Don't mind me, I live for the paradox of things.

Today's entry (apart from hitting an arbitrary quota of sorts) is meant as a reminder to myself to slow down and be caught up in the moment.

I tend to get too absorbed, focused on achieving self-imposed targets to the point where I unhealthily fixate and become emotionally disconnected. It's especially easy, to spiral downwards from there. If you've read my posts about how I need to rewire from time to time, you probably already know how easy it is for me to lapse into a mood, and I spend ages trying to pick myself out from that slump. 

so.

slow down.

Anyhow, my diablo immortal characters, Skult and Blieu just because:



xoxo

in my scarecrow dreams
when they smash my heart into smithereens
be a bright red rose come bursting the concrete
be a cartoon heart
light a fire, a fire, a spark
light a fire, a flame in my heart


Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
I miss the long nights under streetlights 
when our hearts were made of gold
I miss the feeling that we had then
we were never growing old
Yeah, 
I miss it all


Hello. I've actually not been on hiatus from writing- as a matter of fact, I've probably written more in 2021 than in any of the previous years. 

But... I've been exploring different styles, and I posted under a different platform in December. If you're interested to read my reflections for 2021, feel free to check it out on Medium. 

Also,  I do need to catch up on a couple of things before Monday begins, so I'll be logging off for now. 

xoxo
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
Hey
I think I caught it 
the tail end of an eternal string
floating and skimming the skies
exploring this life as just mine
light and content as the places go by
and when the stars start to light the sky
It's a perfect feeling money can't buy

Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
it's the smallest things

like how I notice and feel
the patterns that the sunbeams illuminate
the way the sun feels pleasantly warm on my skin
the tingly warm and real feelings I have

like how I can be anywhere I want to be
in the stories I read 
in the melodies I hear
and in the aesthetics I see

like how I push myself
for things I'm not particularly fond of
or trying though there's a risk of failing
and appreciating my efforts all the same

like how I don't feel sad and bleak
and talking to my friends don't feel like a chore

for all these moments
when I'm attuned with everything I'm feeling
I'm doing more than simply existing
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
I can't believe it's 4 months since I've blogged. 

If I'm being completely honest, I've been feeling pretty down the past couple of months. Objectively speaking, life should be going well- no major problems, financial stability,  pockets of time to hang out here and there. But underneath the surface, I've been feeling pretty burdened with work responsibilities, and I suppose, a mid-life crisis of sorts.

I've known that creating is what brings my soul joy, and I want to give more time to foster this creativity, refine my works and explore an alternative career path. The thing is, I simply don't have the energy/mood/time for these artist dates, and when I do, I sometimes find myself not deriving any joy in the process, simply because I feel overwhelmed at the back of my mind. 

And so, I constantly rewire my mind, to make it a point to fit in the time, to let go of things that don't serve me well- i.e. worrying, but it's a vicious circle and I always find myself cycling back to the same point. If I don't make it a conscious effort to rewire, tasteless as it sounds, I'll just spiral down and not get anything done. In fact, I started writing this post a few months ago and came back to it on two occasions feeling the same, and what's more in the middle of yet another reset.

Suppose I need to clear my mind and remind myself to live in the moment, taking in and giving appreciation to all the things that ought to matter. Welp, hope you're not having as much of an existential crisis as I am. Toodles till next time!
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
remember fairies and diamonds
where we created
magic treasure
pearl white room
dipped in liquid gold
clouds surrounding treasure
we've picked our own
you bring me places
I never expected to love
get me fancy things
I never expected to have
white to my black
half full to my half empty
lolita to my scene
though the lines get blurred in between
you'll always be my greatest treasure 
nowhere in between
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
we don't have seasons where we're at
yet it felt like summer when we met
sunlight found its way to everything we had 
and i saw things in a perfect shade of red

got me chasing feelings in my head
painting us a deep wine red
for you i could be any kind of red
but you decided to go instead

yeah we don't have seasons where we're at
all i remember is it was dark when we met
and the moment i saw you i knew 
i was in a getaway car 
not where i was meant

with you i saw things in a perfect shade of blue
electric, comfortable, ethereal
like flashes painted across a midnight sky 
cerulean waves of a song over the radio
memories of baby blue skies in my head 

and i guess i got lucky instead
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
Meet Gabriel, our pet hybrid flowerhorn. Gabriel (otherwise affectionately known as gong gong) has been with us since 22 Jan 2020. 

(Gabriel @ 31.12.2020 horrified by the flash from my polaroid camera)


He was somewhat ill when we got him as a baby, but grew into a handsome adult. Recently, he fell seriously ill around 6 Jan 2021, and we were almost sure we would lose him to swim bladder disease. 

(Gabriel @ Jan 2020 when we first got him)



(Spot him hiding behind the plants in this picture)


Granted, swim bladder disease was our self diagnosis but seeing that he had a bloated belly and was perpetually floating upside down, it was the most likely disease.  

(Gabriel @ 8 Jan 2021 with swim bladder disease)


We moved him to a hospital tank and reached out to some vets to enquire if they treat fish. Here are some vets which we found treat fish:

1. Vets for Pets - Jurong (Dr June Ang)
2. Beecroft Bird & Exotics Veterinary Clinic

Beecroft does house calls too! However, as we started providing swim bladder medication to Gabriel (around 3 days after he fell ill), we monitored the situation. We didn't want to bring him down to a vet since we were unsure how he would take the trip. 

We used swim bladder treatment+ by interpet. We medicated him according to instructions: giving a new dosage on the 4th, 8th and 12th day, doing a water change whenever necessary.


Gabriel also stopped eating when he fell sick. We started to hand feed him ground green peas + water using a syringe around the 4th or 5th day. After about a week of peas, we handfed him ground pellets + water using same said syringe. 

This was adapted from youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAtUVFOlkfU 

No photos were taken of this process as we felt like we were force feeding him and I was really disheartened at this point. (you can refer to the video above though- we did the exact same process)

Gabriel started sinking on 12 Jan and we shifted him to the normal tank. 
He had fungal infection and started lying at the bottom of the tank on 13 Jan. 

The turning point came on 24 Jan where he started swimming occasionally and using the filter to prop himself up. This happened till 26 Jan. 

(Gabriel @ 24-26 Jan 2021 using the filter to prop himself up)


On 27 Jan, although he was still sinking to the bottom, he no longer laid on the ground. Things continued to improve. Currently, he seems to have made a full recovery and is slowly regaining his colours. He also accepts cuddles these days and we can't express how happy we are! 

(Gabriel after recovery but with fungal infection still- at his belly)


(Gabriel accepting cuddles during a water change)

(Gabriel's current diet)


May there not be such a severe reoccurrence ever and hopefully this post can help a fellow fish parent. 

xoxo

Update: Gabriel passed on 19 Apr 2021 at 12:40am after another reoccurrence. He'll always be dearly missed.
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
the simulation just went bad
but you're the best i ever had
like handprints in wet cement
she touched me
it's permanent
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments

I've been wanting to go back to the mullet forever and i finally did!

Although it felt like forever, looking back at my photo album for verification, I only started actually growing my hair out in 2018. I have lived and survived for this one something year with hair clips and hair ties... No more. 

Somehow, having a mullet brings me great joy. I feel more effortlessly like me- if that makes sense. And to think i waited so long to get my hair back to normal. Also, as much as I want to be committed to keeping my hair this way constantly, my hairstylist isn't cheap, so I'll probably butcher it up once or twice along the way.  

Welp. Let's just enjoy the freshness of the cut while it lasts. 😄

Did I mention just how much I feel like doing an underlayer bleach or color? Maybe i'll experiment with semi permanent colours... Maybe.

Here's ending the post with a picture of Mokona and I at USS (for purpose of this photo only). Upon viewing the picture on my phone, I had the impression we had terribly unsynchronised hands, but after posting this, I see now that we synchronise to match the tilt of the USS prop. Cheap thrills indeed.💓


Merry Christmas Errbody! 

xoxo

Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
I knew i loved you the moment we met 
i knew i wanted you 
the moment your arm touched mine 
across a theatre side
thought you could like me too 
the moment you stayed 
took me places every time 
smiled like it was just mine 
laughed like i fit with you just right 
shared stories like i could understand every line
felt like you could love me just right
like you could be just mine
like i only had you in my sights
but you let go when i was falling
let go when i was hoping
let go when i was trying
never called you out for having options 
leaving them out in the open
still wondered if we could happen
felt like i loved and lost
like i closed my eyes and you were gone
tried to pretend like every ache didn't belong
but with every passing moment
i knew that you were never worth it
every strong emotion you inspired 
was clearly never reciprocated 
i picked up the pieces 
to put them back stronger
never accepted your call
when you finally knocked on my door
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
This night
you hold my heart in your hands
heartbeat in my palms crystal

and every breath is magic, full of life
can this feeling be forever
there's nothing quite so real and alive

this night
you hold my heart in your eyes
heartbeat in my chest crystal

and every gift is precious, fits just right
can this feeling be forever
nothing's quite so easy to lose and regret

that's right
love is a net
catching tender feelings 
losing the bad
etching them so I never forget
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
Everything is blue
his pills , his hands , his jeans
and now i'm covered in the colors pull apart at the seams
and it's blue
and it's blue

Everything is grey
his hair , his smoke , his dreams
and now he's so devoid of color
he don't know what it means
and he's blue
and he's blue
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No comments
Older Posts

About me

About Me

+65. Writes, draws and paints occasionally. Find me in game @miiooki@reihaku or mayhaps another alias

Follow Me

  • facebook
  • twitter
  • instagram
  • Google+
  • pinterest
  • youtube

Blog Archive

  • June 2022 (1)
  • January 2022 (1)
  • November 2021 (1)
  • October 2021 (1)
  • September 2021 (1)
  • May 2021 (1)
  • April 2021 (1)
  • February 2021 (1)
  • January 2021 (1)
  • December 2020 (1)
  • November 2020 (1)
  • October 2020 (1)
  • September 2020 (1)
  • August 2020 (1)
  • June 2020 (1)
  • March 2020 (1)
  • November 2019 (1)
  • August 2019 (1)
  • June 2019 (1)
  • March 2019 (1)
  • December 2018 (1)
  • September 2018 (1)
  • May 2018 (1)
  • February 2018 (1)
  • January 2018 (1)
  • December 2017 (1)
  • September 2017 (1)
  • August 2017 (1)
  • July 2017 (1)
  • June 2017 (1)
  • May 2017 (1)
  • April 2017 (1)
  • March 2017 (1)
  • February 2017 (2)
  • January 2017 (1)
  • December 2016 (2)
  • September 2016 (1)
  • August 2016 (1)
  • July 2016 (1)
  • June 2016 (1)
  • May 2016 (2)
  • April 2016 (1)
  • March 2016 (1)
  • February 2016 (1)
  • January 2016 (2)
  • December 2015 (1)
  • October 2015 (1)
  • September 2015 (1)
  • August 2015 (1)
  • February 2015 (1)
  • January 2015 (1)
  • November 2014 (1)
  • September 2014 (1)
  • August 2014 (2)
  • July 2014 (1)
  • June 2014 (2)
  • April 2014 (1)
  • March 2014 (1)
  • February 2014 (2)
  • January 2014 (1)
  • December 2013 (3)
  • November 2013 (1)
  • October 2013 (2)
  • September 2013 (2)
  • August 2013 (3)
  • July 2013 (2)
  • June 2013 (3)
  • May 2013 (3)
  • April 2013 (4)
  • March 2013 (2)
  • February 2013 (3)
  • January 2013 (2)
  • December 2012 (3)
  • November 2012 (3)
  • October 2012 (5)
  • September 2012 (5)
  • August 2012 (8)
  • July 2012 (8)
  • June 2012 (11)
  • May 2012 (9)
  • April 2012 (8)
  • March 2012 (11)
  • February 2012 (13)
  • January 2012 (8)
  • December 2011 (7)
  • November 2011 (12)
  • October 2011 (5)
  • September 2011 (1)
  • August 2011 (5)
  • July 2011 (4)
  • June 2011 (3)
  • May 2011 (3)
  • April 2011 (6)
  • March 2011 (5)
  • February 2011 (7)
  • January 2011 (8)
  • December 2010 (4)
  • November 2010 (7)
  • October 2010 (15)
  • September 2010 (17)
  • August 2010 (13)
  • July 2010 (16)
  • June 2010 (11)
  • May 2010 (16)
  • April 2010 (11)
  • March 2010 (15)
  • February 2010 (14)
  • January 2010 (15)
  • December 2009 (16)
  • November 2009 (19)
  • October 2009 (21)
  • September 2009 (13)
  • August 2009 (20)
  • July 2009 (14)
  • June 2009 (12)
  • May 2009 (17)
  • April 2009 (15)
  • March 2009 (16)
  • February 2009 (24)
  • January 2009 (27)
  • December 2008 (29)
  • November 2008 (28)
  • October 2008 (28)
  • September 2008 (25)
  • August 2008 (22)
  • July 2008 (26)
  • June 2008 (18)
  • May 2008 (21)
  • April 2008 (15)
  • March 2008 (4)
  • February 2008 (11)
  • January 2008 (6)
  • December 2007 (7)
  • November 2007 (11)
  • October 2007 (14)
  • September 2007 (17)
  • August 2007 (27)
  • July 2007 (23)
  • June 2007 (25)
  • May 2007 (21)
  • April 2007 (17)
  • March 2007 (4)
  • January 2007 (1)
  • December 2006 (1)
  • November 2006 (2)
  • October 2006 (7)
  • September 2006 (2)
  • August 2006 (11)
  • July 2006 (3)
  • December 2005 (1)
  • June 2005 (1)

Created with by ThemeXpose | Distributed by Blogger Templates